The girl with the sad green eyes
by AlwaysCastle
Summary: Kate,  The girl with the sad green eyes,       Never let the weight of the world, keep you from being who you are, and who you are meant to be.  Richard Castle
1. Chapter 1

Kate Beckett sits at her desk. The 12th precinct just about empty aside from a few rookies getting their last minute work done and a detective hanging up from a rather heartfelt apology to a grieving family... The chair next to her desk, is unoccupied. She takes this rare moment to herself, and opens her desk drawer down to her right, pulling out a book.

She holds the book in her hands carefully, as if she's afraid it will crumble into a million frayed pieces. It's one of the books that barely survived her apartment blowing up and it's worn and weathered from constant use. So she holds it delicately, one hand scratches along the pages, her fingernails catching in the tiny grooves. It causes a sound, much like a zipper sliding upwards. Her other hand, runs along the spine. Ever so softly, as if for a lover. She can feel it's smooth surface under her slightly shaking hand. A glint from the lights overhead gleams off the still shiny book jacket, making the words speak to her, one word in particular rising a warmth and flutter in her heart.

Castle

Her eyes slide shut briefly. Her long lashes kissing the flesh under her eyes, and then feathering open. She turns the book in her hands, again slowly. As if prolonging the moment even though she's handled this book thousands of times. In her weakest moments, the moments where she's scared, or forlorn. This book, and the others much like it, have been her solace. This one more than the others.

The first.

Her first.

Her thumb plays with the edge of the cover, lifting it a little, and then letting it come back down again with a small thud and whoosh of air between the pages. The book now rests in her lap, her index finger smoothing over the jacket. Outlining the title. She's still fiddling with the cover. The light bounces off it as it moves, her fingers dancing along the words until she reaches his name. She stops her soothing, looking around her as if she's about to be caught doing something intimate.

But she is.

When she still finds herself alone, for the time being. She traces his name, a smile creeping at the corner of her lips, and then she opens the book. The spine crackles in protest, seemingly echoing throughout the silence of the bullpen. Her eyes dart to the break room, where she sees him making them a cup of coffee. As if he could hear it open, hear the quick pulse in her neck, the thudding of her heart. Her eyes linger on him a moment longer before they drift to the page.

Her heart quickens. As if she's seeing the writing on the page for the first time. As if she's standing in that line again:

_Her nerves are getting the best of her. The book is clutched so tightly to her chest, her arms and fingers are starting to ache. The line moves... the last person is getting their book signed, and OH! It's her turn! She pries her fingers from the book to hand it too him, trying to school her features and not come off like every other crazed fan in the bookstore. He isn't looking at her yet as he pulls the book to him and opens to the front page. Before his sharpie presses on the fresh white page, he lifts his head. His brilliant blue eyes connecting with her green ones._

_ Instead of signing right away, his face brakes into this unmistakable smile. _One she sees even now. Everyday when in context to her_. But at the time? She doesn't know what it means. Only that she has captured him. Not only with the way she looks, she thinks...but perhaps he can see something in her, she doesn't see in herself. And instead of just signing it with his usual manner or sending her off with a 'thanks for reading my book', or 'thanks for coming out.' He's speechless. _

_ "Kate." She tells him, as his mouth opens and closes, as if he's forgotten what he's supposed to be asking. His eyes fall down to his own book, hand still on the page. And then his eyes come back to hers. He smiles as if he's been caught in an intimate moment. _And maybe he was.

_ "Very, nice to meet you, Kate." He says then. His tone lighter, yet deeper. Not in the usual way he would use with his readers. The whole thing conspires in a matter of seconds. To her it feels like a ripple in time. A lapse in the revolving world beneath her feet. All the sounds of the bookstore come back to her. Having lost herself in what appears to be a moment. She realizes he's finally writing something. She had been watching him sign everyone elses books up until she stepped up to this table herself. But, she notices that he is writing something not like the others._

Kate closes her eyes, hand splayed across the page. His words to her. She doesn't need to see them to know what it says. She has read it countless times. Maybe more than the book itself. Leaning back against her chair, She lets out a sigh vaguely hearing the clinking of cups far off, but it's replaced by his voice. Her own little mental voice over.

_Kate, (The girl with the sad green eyes.)_

_ Never let the weight of the world, keep you from being who you are, and who you are meant to be._

_Richard Castle_

At the time, she only took it for what it was. Great advice from a stranger... well, she was a stranger to him. But he was not just some guy to her. He was her solid ground. Still is. And that advice? It meant the world...something to hold onto, like the words in his books. But now...now it holds greater meaning. Value. Thinking back on it, Kate knows now that she didn't listen. What she said in therapy proves it. She wants to be more.

Kate hears him approaching, but her eyes stay closed, one hand cupping the book, the other still laying across his writing. His signature peeks out from under her pinky. She feels his presence before he sits down, smells the coffee, and feels the steam before he sets it down in front of her. She opens her eyes, leaning forward to capture more of that delicious scent, and then hums low in her throat. The book lays cradled open against her chest as she reaches for her coffee.

"What are you reading?" He asks. Eyebrow raised, cup halfway to his mouth. He takes a sip.

Kate prolongs her sip of coffee, bringing it down to rest on her desk again. Eyes on him as she licks stray coffee from her lips. She leans back, eyes drifting away from those blues of his, and down to her book. She releases her hold on it. Thinking about it for a moment before handing it to him, open to his signature.

"We met once." She tells him. Her is voice soft, heart eager.

Castle tilts his head to one side. Staring at the book he has yet to take from her. His brow creases in a way she doesn't quite understand, and then he puts his own cup down to delicately take the book offered. He says nothing while he sits forward, book on his knees. He reads it silently and she watches the play of emotions on his face. He looks thoughtful as he reads, which is something she's sort of surprised about. She would have thought he would be astounded. Shocked to think they had met and he never remembered her.

Castle runs a hand softly over her name. And then his little pen name for her. A smile creases the corner of his blue eyes as they sneak up to snag in her green. But he doesn't see a hint of sadness anywhere in them. Oh no. On the contrary. What he sees, reflects in the deepest of his blues. A feeling so mutual, it guides his heart everyday.

He fixes her with a loving gaze, his lips curving up in a way that almost makes him look smug. He closes the book, handing it back. "I know."

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><p><strong>I am actually unsure if this has been done... I have read a few where she tellsshows him that they met once. That he signed her book for her. Ect. But not that he actually knows about it.**

**Thoughts?**

**This will be about 3 maybe 4 fanfics going..so I may or may not have the next chapter up anytime soon...that is if you guys want another chapter...**


	2. Chapter 2

When Richard Castle first met Kate Beckett, it was at one of his book signings. The day felt long, and he'd only been at it for an hour. His back hurt from leaning over the table, and his arm and fingers ached from the constant scribble of his signature on countless book after book. not to mention how annoyed he was. And of course. He couldn't show it. Oh no, he had to throw on his fake persona and suck it up. But after each adoring fan after the other. Some more crazy and obsessed than subdued... Meeting Kate was like a breath of fresh air. She wasn't fake, like all the others. She was real. So very very real. And he was smitten. He remembers how swept away he was when he first laid eyes on her. But it wasn't just her beauty that captured him. It was her stunning green eyes. They seemed to have flecks of golden brown in them.

She didn't look like someone who would stand in line for hours. This girl no older then twenty two maybe... standing before him. She was dressed in casual clothes. Yes. He remembers. She was wearing a white blouse. One he has seen on her even now. And a pair of blue jeans. Her hair hung down in waves, framing her face. He wasn't sure what kind of person or what sort of things she should have been doing. But there she was, standing in front of him. The only word he could think of at the time, as he sat their speechless, was that she was Extraordinary.

Aside from her appearance. He noticed that, even though the line was for maybe his fifth book, she was holding his first. Not to say he hadn't been given a stack of his books to sign by his fans, the more obsessed fans. Her hands where shaking when she handed her book off to him. He could tell how nervous she was before his eyes even graced her face. But at that moment, just seeing her hands, he thought her like all the others. But she wasn't just a fan. He could tell by her demeanor, the way she clutched at his book, which was already well worn. The binding crackled in protest when he opened it. She'd certainly read it more than once. He could imagine her settling in with it at night.

He remembers vividly the look deep in her eyes. He was transfixed in those eyes, despite her outlook appearance, she seemed haunted. As if she was carrying around a great weight. No. This book meant something to her unfathomable to him. He didn't know what she was...What he did know, gazing up into those sad, yet beautiful green eyes of hers, was that she was a wounded soul.

She's just as beautiful now, as she was then. He can see the similarities and differences between the girl then, standing nervously in line. To the woman now, sitting nervously at her desk. He can see it in the lines of her face. She's less ridged, less guarded. There was a timidness about her when they first met he could almost never relate to the Kate Beckett he sees before him now. At least, it's a different kind of timidness. Then, she was scared, unsure, less confident. Kate now a days is confident, fearless, in most cases when it's not related to the matters of the heart...perhaps that is something that is the same. But even that is not all true. He senses that change in her, because in that book store, he could tell she was keeping herself from living. Call it being a writer, or just plain intuition...But these days? Kate Beckett, is trying to be more.

Castle draws his hand back, leaning into his chair. She's staring at him with a mixture of shock, and wonder. She bites her lip, frowning. He knew she would latch onto the idea that he never told her. That he remembers her.

Truth be told. He could never forget. That day at the bookstore. That girl. Had awakened something in him. Something so profound, he knew he had to find her. He had to know who this mysterious creature was.

But it's not like she was standing there in uniform. She had to have been out of the academy by then. So she was a police officer, and yet he didn't see a badge in sight. She certainly didn't come off like one... And, she hadn't given him her full name. No. Once she stepped out of that bookstore, she was a mystery he was never going to solve... But it doesn't mean he hadn't tried. He even looked for her at every other book signing after that. She never stood in another one of his lines again.

It was years later before he ever saw her again. Even though he thought a time or two, that he saw her walking down the street, or driving by in the back of a cab, or sitting at a bar he used to frequent. But each time, it was never her. Oh how is heart would rise in his chest every time he swore it was her! It was like his own little rendition of Serendipity. She was his Sarah. Always just missing her. Always one step behind or two steps forward. Never in the same place.

To this day, if anyone asks. He will swear up and down that it was fate that brought her into his book launch party. Not irony, or a coincidence. Richard Castle had always stuck to the belief that life is not just a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. But Destiny

When Detective Kate Beckett walked into his life, it was like a parallel between having stood in line to have his first book signed. To nearly arresting him at the launch of his last book series of novels. She wasn't just Kate, the girl with the sad green eyes anymore. She was Detective Kate Beckett. The woman, with the sad green eyes. No matter how hard she tried to hide it.

"You remember me?" Kate asks now, releasing her hold on her bottom lip. Her thumb fiddling with the book jacket again. She sounds curious, yet shy. A side of her he rarely gets to see.

Still ever the mystery.

"Even after all this time. All the fans you've signed for?" She fixes him with a look. Perhaps challenging. Asking if he is just saying this to appease her.

Rick Castle stares with his bright blue eyes, into her soft green ones. "How could I forget?"

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><p><strong>I know this is a bit shorter...but I don't want to give it all away at once. So I am spacing it out...Thoughts?<strong>

**P.S. Last chapter for a while. My other story, _The Head and the Heart_, comes back from it's hiatus like the show does on Monday. So that Chapter should be up within a week. Along with a chapter of _Follow you into the Dark_...that is if your reading it...if not...please read!**


	3. Chapter 3

Kate feels something a lot like love overwhelm her entire body, It pumps the blood from her exuberant heart, and rises a flush in her cheeks. She can't help the smile that forms slowly on her lips.

Oh, it's love all right.

Castle watches the beauty of her expression as it works itself out on her face. The light in her eyes, that smile, along with those lips. It takes everything in him not to grab her. And then that smile slowly sinks from her lovely face. Replaced by a slight frown of speculation. She crosses her arms, giving him that look he knows all to well.

Here it comes.

"Why didn't you tell me you remember?" She accuses. Although she's somewhat afraid of the answer, almost regretting her decision to show him this book. She may not know at the moment that he looked for her. May not know the extent of the impact she had on him...but he remembers. And that is enough.

Castle actually smirks. There are still aspects of Kate Beckett he knows very well. "Why didn't you tell me you stood in line at one of my book signings?" He fires back.

Kate opens her mouth, closes it and opens it again to then sigh exasperatedly. "Because." She starts, her voice defeated.

He inclines his head, folding his hand over his knee.

"Because, I didn't." She sighs again. _Why is this so difficult?_ "Want you to think I was just _some_ fan." She says slowly, with a hint of embarrassment, and maybe, just maybe some uncertainty slipped in there somewhere. As though his reaction and idea of her is everything. Because it is.

Castle briefly ponders this. One eyebrow raising in quandary, the sides of his mouth curving up more on one side as he thinks real hard. "And you're not...just some fan?" He asks, seeing the similarities between the constant questioning of what they are, to this loaded question. He's hoping at least this one doesn't go unanswered like all the others.

"No," She says tenderly. Her face softening considerably and she visibly relaxes in her chair. She unfolds her arms, laying both hands on her thighs, sliding up and down as if to sooth herself.

He blinks. _Wait..what?_

"I wasn't then, and I'm not one now." _I'm more than that..._

"That hurts, Kate." He says, mocking seriousness, but he gets it.

Her eyebrows raise, realizing how that sounded. "Castle, No...I-"

He chuckles. "Kate...I get it. More than you think." His voice seeps warmth, and affection.

Kate tilts her head to one side. Her heart racing. Her eyes fall to the cup beside her, the steam still rising into the air, disappearing into the space around them, she's wonders if it gets caught in the tension that's obviously building around them.

"You know, Kate. Despite your objection to how much I _don't_ know you. I understand that my books were some sort of escape for you."

Kate's eyes widen. Her pulse beating in every inch of her skin, prickling her nerves. Her hands have slid up and are now clutching at her knees. She's almost panicked. Feels this utter awareness of being found out. She's frozen in her chair, body tense once again. Her mouth hangs open and her heart is threatening to beat it's way up her windpipe and spill out into her lap. And the worst part is..she can't look away from those blues. He's staring at her through her opaque green eyes. Into her soul. _How does he do that?_

He pulls his chair in front of her, placing his hands on both of hers. Prying her fingers from her kneecaps. All the while he's got her caught in the traps set in his gaze. But he doesn't want to trap her. Oh no. He wants her to come freely. Coax her from her hiding place. So he doesn't hold her hands. Just spreads them out on his palms and lets her be the one to make the next move.

He can feel the quivering of her skin beneath his palm. Sees that she's speechless. So he continues. "Remember what I told you, what I thought when we first met?" He asks, his voice low, and husky.

Kate purses her lips, closing her eyes for a moment before opening and nodding. She does not move her hands, nor look away. But her heart is halfway out of her chest.

"That you were a mystery I was never going to solve." He moves his head just a little closer, his soul spilling fourth into hers. "It started back in that bookstore. When this girl...stepped up to my table, and handed me my first book. She had this thing clutched so tightly, I thought she'd never let go."

Kate looks down at their hands, seeing her palm down against his, just laying there. One of her fingers twitches. "I was a mess." She whispers, her eyes still not meeting his, but one finger curls, scratching lightly against the inside of his hand.

"That may be so." He says. And her eyes snap to his. Her finger stopping its soft caress. "But even then...I could see the depths of your strength."

Her hands close around his then. In a grip so tight she swears he can feel the need seeping through her skin. But what she is about to say will contradict such a move. "Castle I-"

"Kate." He almost pleads. He knows exactly what she was about to do, but this time he won't let her. Won't allow for another moment like this to be swept under the proverbial rug. "I looked for you." He says, emphasizing by moving even closer, their still clasped hands in her lap now.

"You..you did?" She asks. Not letting go.

"How could I not?"

She heaves a sigh, feather light and fluttering like her heart. It's so hard to ignore these moments when he says things like this. And this time...she can't be angry. On the contrary, She's practically floating in her chair. She's so lost in his eyes, she does not feel one of his hands slip from hers, and cup her cheek. Her eyes flutter closed, her skin warming at his touch. She leans into his hand, a strangled sigh flitting over her parted lips, gracing his skin ever so lightly.

Castle struggles to take in a breath himself. A little taken with how this conversation has progressed. It's usually quiet heated and angry, full of tension and accusatory tones. But this time...it's soft, and tender, both their hearts beating to a cosmic rhythm meant for them, and them alone. When he has sis breathing under control. He wets his lips, and continues to speak. "I never lost hope."

Her eyes open, and a pang hits him so hard in the chest he doesn't think he will breath the same way again. Her eyes are moist, but not forlorn. They are anything but. "You didn't know me then...I was just some stranger..." She's not even trying, just feels the need to express this, as if trying more so to grasp at his character of heart than anything else.

"I know you don't believe in fate." He says, rubbing a thumb along her cheek. "But I do...And I think I was meant to meet that girl... the one with the sad green eyes." Her hand comes up to grip the one on her cheek, and she leans even further into his palm. "It wasn't just some coincident, Kate." he pauses, squeezing the hand still held tightly in his. "That brought you into my book launch part that day."

She can't breath. Can't think. Only feel. Feel the warmth of his touch, the vibrations of his marvelous words through his skin, feel the beating of his heart connecting with hers through the pulse point in their joined wrists. He is saying everything that would normally trigger her fight or flight response. But Kate doesn't want to run, or fight. She's done fighting. She makes a decision. It's neither quick, nor slow. But thought out properly. Because she's been thinking about this for a very long time. She's only realizing that now, she just needed that extra push. And he's just done it for her. Always at the wrong time. But this time. The moment is exactly right.

Kate pulls her hand from his, and slowly moves it up his arm. When she reaches his elbow, fingers flitting across the protruding bone, she bites her lip, eyes gazing into his. There is not hesitation in his eyes as she finally cups the back of his neck, putting just a small amount of pressure before she starts to guide him in. Closer to her, her lips, her soul, and her heart.

* * *

><p><strong>I just did something I NEVER do. And that is fluff. At least that is what I think it is? How would I know if I never write it?<strong>

**Thoughts?**__

**P.S. Count that. That's two chapters up today for two different stories. Please go and check out my other story, back from it's Hiatus. _The head and the heart _chapter 13 is up!_  
><em>**


	4. Chapter 4

It's light at first. Flesh against flesh, warm and tender. A soft push at the bricks as they start to slip out of the barrier. The light pressure of her fingers on the back of his neck is the force against the walls of her heart. The tension between their lips, the final blow at her weakened defenses. And as the last brick falls to the ground at their feet, Rick Castle begins to pull away. But she's not having any of that. Kate Beckett growls, pulling him closer by the lapels of his shirt and stepping over the rubble, out of her chair and leaning into his lap as he's forced back against his own chair.

Her body looms over his, craning his neck farther and farther back as she pushes him to his limits. She bites down on his lip, and they both moan in unison when her tongue slips past his defenses. Tasting him, taking everything he has to offer, all he has left to give. His hands grab at her waist, pulling her down to him. Her legs straddle his thighs and her body melds to his. Castle opens his mouth wider for her, breathing hot air from his nose onto her face. This only makes Kate more eager. The wall is in ruins behind them, and the prisoner has escaped with full force. He's surprised the chair hasn't tipped backwards in his struggle to keep up with her ferocity. The power her emotions drive into him.

Castle slowly moves his hands from her waist upwards, tickling the side of her ribs on his way up, weaving around her arms and brushing against the hands dug so tightly into his shirt, it's pulling the fabric almost painfully against his shoulder blades. But when his hands connect with the hot, flushed skin of her face, Kate's intensity slows. Her mouth opens on a sigh as she backs off, pecking his lips, once, twice before bowing her head against his chin, panting.

The air between them is no longer thick with tension, but light and magnetic. Their chests rise and fall together, as they catch their breaths. The soothing of his thumbs along her cheekbones, her forehead rubbing slightly against his chin, eases them down from the release of their desires. Something they have been holding back for longer than they expected possible.

The only sound in the now empty bullpen, is the pounding of their hearts, and the shallow breaths expelled through swollen lips. Kate lifts her head from his chin, cupping his face between both hands, and kissing him below one closed eye. He opens them when he feels her open mouth kisses. The depths of his oceans swallowing her whole. But she's okay with that. She's more then okay with it. She's swimming through the tides on waves of love and relief. This is living, she realizes, as his eyes flick downwards to her lips, his pools of blue darkening before gazing back into her forest green. He leans in, kissing the side of her mouth, her jaw, her neck before she leans back, hands on his chest as she settles her backside on his knees.

"Kate." he says on a sigh. A whisper.

Her eyes flutter closed, her heart rising at the sound of her name on his lips. Sweet and enticing. She can still taste it on her tongue. She hums softly, tugging on his shirt a little before opening her eyes again. She can see everything in those eyes. Otherwise unspoken. All his secrets that protean to her, but she's neither scared, nor anxious. Well maybe a little anxious. But for a whole new reason. And it doesn't matter how they got here anymore. The lives they led without each other, and the struggles they have been through while standing side by side.

Gazing into the eyes of Richard Castle. Kate Beckett's life has found new meaning. Kate knows, as she eases off his lap and back into her own chair. That everything up until this moment was part of some cosmic plan designed by the universe. A power so great, so unimaginable, that she never believed it could exist. She never allowed herself to see the good in what it could do for her. That is, until this man entered her life. No. It was not a coincidence. Not some morbid curiosity, or ironic sense of justice. It was the rhythm of their hearts. Beating out of tune until all the strings found their proper place in their hearts, connected on a web of destiny.

Kate gives him a smile and stands up from her chair. Pulling on her coat, she turns to leave. "You coming?" She asks, as she looks at him over her shoulder. Castle stares dreamily back for just a second before getting up from his own chair. She hugs him around the waist. Not expecting an answer. He'll follow. He always does.

There is no question about what happens next. Because it's all really been answered. In the longing looks shared and stolen,. In how they keep coming back to each other, how she's slowly been letting him in. The answers is there, in _always. _Now the future is more evident as these two walk into the elevator of the 12th precinct. The place were it all began.

Oh if walls could talk..

They would tell you of the grand love story that grew and grew over time. From the instant chemistry, obvious attraction, annoyance, and pessimism. To friendship, loyalty, trust and affection. A love these two people have only dreamed about, but never truly felt until they met each other. Some would say too much time has passed. Wasted time that could have been well spent together. But that might just be the loser talking, having lost the ongoing bet throughout the years...

No.

It was just long enough. Timing is everything. And their hearts knew all along what their minds never seemed to grasp. That a great love like theirs takes time, patience...risks...it's why we are alive isn't it?

And so,

As another page turns in this ever changing book of life: Rick Castle and Kate Beckett step out of the elevator side by side and onto the same blank page. The only thing now is to continue writing their story. The difference? Is that his time, they have more control over it. They decide where it leads to next.

Kate looks up at Castle. Her eyes no longer sad, but shining with a happiness she never thought she'd feel again. Lacing their fingers together, she knows that this is where she is meant to be. Kate tilts her head to one side, studying him. She can tell, by the crinkle in his brow that he is over thinking. She can practically hear what's going on inside that mind of his.

"Hey." She squeezes his hand to get his attention, and then answers his obvious unspoken concerns. "How about." She brings his hand up to her lips, placing a soft kiss to his knuckles. "We start with always."

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><p><strong>The End<strong>


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